Free 4-week guide · Anticipatory grief
Loving Someone You Are Losing
A gentle companion for the grief that shows up before the loss, while the person you love is still here.
This is for anyone who has felt grief wash over them in an ordinary moment with someone they love and didn’t know what to call it.
- 20-page PDF
- 4 weeks, at your own pace
- Free, and yours to keep
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A note before you begin
You already know this feeling.
You’ve felt it at dinner, a sudden wave of grief while the person across from you is perfectly fine. You’ve felt it driving home after a visit. You’ve felt it at 2am, doing math you don’t want to do.
That feeling has a name: anticipatory grief, the grief that arrives before the loss. Feeling it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means you love someone.
Most people carry this alone. There’s no ritual for it, no bereavement leave, no casserole on the porch. The world doesn’t know how to hold a grief that hasn’t “happened” yet. This guide was made for that in-between place.
Does this sound familiar?
What anticipatory grief can look like
- Waves of sadness during ordinary, happy moments together
- Struggling to be present because you’re already imagining the absence
- Suddenly noticing small details, like the way they laugh or a phrase they always use
- Avoiding visits, because every visit now carries weight
- Irritability, followed by guilt
- A low hum of dread that follows you into the rest of your life
- Feeling like you’re grieving in secret, because nothing has “happened” yet
- Fog, forgetfulness and exhaustion that don’t match your day
None of these are signs of weakness. They are signs of love meeting its own limits, and the first step is giving them a name.
What’s inside
Four weeks, one gentle step at a time
Each week gives you language for what you’re carrying, a practice to bring you back into your body and the present moment, journal prompts, and small things you can do right now, while there is still time.
What You’re Feeling Has a Name
Why your brain grieves a future absence, and permission to grieve someone who is still here.
Practice: The Arriving Practice
Your Body Is Grieving Too
How your nervous system responds to anticipated loss, and how to work with it instead of against it.
Practice: six somatic tools + the Daily Compass Check
The Time That Is Still Here
Being present as an act of love, including questions worth asking while you still can.
Practice: The Legacy Recording + the Both/And frame
Building the Foundation Before the Ground Shifts
Preparing yourself emotionally, relationally and practically, with support in place before you need it.
Practice: your 30-day resilience commitment
Plus: a weekly affirmation, a curated list of books, podcasts and apps for anticipatory grief, and a closing note to carry with you.
Who it’s for
This guide is for you if…
- You’re watching a parent age and feeling the weight of it
- Someone you love has a serious or terminal diagnosis
- You’re losing someone slowly to dementia or a long illness
- You’re a caregiver who hasn’t had a moment to feel any of this
- You’re grieving quietly and don’t know who to tell
- You want to spend the time you have left well, without regret
“What I am feeling is not morbid. It is love, looking honestly at time.”
From Week 1 of the guide
Who made this
Hi, I’m Chivonne.
I’m a speaker, author and grief + resilience educator. In 2024, I lost three significant men in my life: a former partner, my dad and my stepdad. Each loss was different, and none hurt any less.
I turned to therapy, grief groups, books and podcasts. Each helped, but I still needed more, so I began creating what I couldn’t find.
This guide draws from my After the Fall™ method and from the somatic, trauma-informed work of grief researchers like Pauline Boss, David Kessler and Mary-Frances O’Connor. It’s the companion I wish more people had before the ground shifts.
How it works
Simple, and at your own pace
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Take one week at a time
Nothing here is mandatory. Take what helps and leave the rest. Grief has no deadline, and neither does this guide.
You don’t have to carry this alone.
Get the free four-week guide and start finding words, and a little steadiness, for what you’re carrying.
Send Me the Free GuideThis guide is educational and doesn’t replace professional mental health care. If you’re in crisis, you can call or text 9-8-8 anytime in Canada or the US.